Once in a Lifetime Part Two

Where have the past couple of months gone?
I intended to do this post just a week after the last one but the time came and went. I have so many excuses and reasons for my absence from Blogland; I won't bore you with any of them.

I am now back and raring to go, equipped with Youngest Darling Daughter's cast-off and slightly squiffy old Acer laptop wired up to a screen with a  Mac Mini for support, a sort of PC Mac marriage. So lets get on with it...

Back to this year's catchphrase: 'Once in a lifetime...'

The month of June saw Youngest Darling Daughter having a painting selected for an exhibition at the Royal West of England Academy sponsored by the local Police Constabulary. I am so proud of her and very flattered that she chose me as her subject.

Hubby and I spent a weekend in Whitstable to attend the 50th Birthday Bash of one of our oldest friends. I had so much fun and couldn't help but think that I don't make the trip to Whitstable often enough nowadays. I intend to remedy that in the coming months.

And the end of June was when Darling Daughter First Born celebrated her twentieth birthday. Her teenage years now just memories, she completed her first year at university with very good grades and came home for the summer, no longer a university fresher, no longer a teenage girl. Another once in a lifetime notched up for this young woman, my Daughter. She has matured into a lovely person, full of warmth and humour and I smile inside and out whenever I think of her.

July saw Youngest Darling Daughter celebrating her eighteenth birthday and leaving school. So my little girl will never be a child again, or at least not in the eyes of the law or society at large.  It makes me a bit sad to think of the end of childhood. It's silly, I know.

This month was when the judging of the exhibition took place, too. We went along to a very pleasant presentation evening at the Academy. Alas, Youngest Darling Daughter didn't win a prize for her effort but she did receive lots of critical acclaim. She is such a talented girl and so modest. I am so very proud of her. In fact, you know, I am a very lucky woman because I have two wonderful daughters, so just forgive me for a moment whilst I gloat :D

Off to watch Team GB!

The end of July brought us the Olympics. What can I say that hasn't been said already? I was and still am proud to be British after such a fantastic Games. And August brought the Paralympics - strength, prowess, inspiration and admiration in bucketloads. Then, Youngest Darling Daughter received excellent A Level results, confirmation of a place at her first choice university and had a painting selected for another exhibition for young artists at The View Gallery in Bristol. We attended another very pleasant private viewing and presentation evening. I could get used to this...

September arrived and Youngest Darling Daughter started her Art Foundation course. Hubby and I made plans for a short break in Dubai. Hubby was taking part in a training conference there. I was a bit lonely at times during the day, but I loved Dubai. The heat was a bit much for me, so I spent most of the daytimes in the hotel - thank goodness for air conditioning and the hotel pool. I would love to go back to Dubai soon, with my girls, and share the experience with them. I hope that wasn't a once in a lifetime. It is a lovely place and the people are very friendly, polite and helpful. I highly recommend it.

As September came to an end, we set off on the drive to London to take Darling Daughter First Born back to university. Another year of study ahead of her, new experiences to be had and friends to meet, I know she will continue to blossom. I miss her so much when she is at university, but I am so glad she is able to have this experience. We chat regularly on Skype so it feels like she isn't so very far away.

In early October, I met my two dear university friends in London to celebrate one lovely lady's fiftieth birthday. We had a gorgeous lunch at The Roux at Parliament Square and shared lots of stories and laughter. I have known these ladies for over thirty years but I never tire of their company. We have shared so much over the decades, lots of joy and some very sad times too and I love them both. Friends like that only come along once in a lifetime. I hope I never take them for granted. And now I am up to date...October is drawing to a close.

When you stop and think about it, many things, many ordinary events and encounters are once in a lifetime. Birthdays, yes, they happen every year, but they are never the same. To quote T S Eliot: 'All time is unredeemable.' I think I know what he means. We can't change the past or expect the same to happen in the future. We can't alter time or save it, but we can learn from it. We have to treat each moment as unique, even if we follow the same routine every day. And those things that we do everyday, are different in some way from the previous day. So whether we are trying for an Olympic Gold Medal, joining friends or family to celebrate a birthday or just popping to the local shop for some milk, I want to embrace every day from now on as a once in a lifetime.

'Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness...'

I'm feeling in a reflective mood today, rediscovering my love of poetry and dwelling in the past...

So Summer has finally bid us farewell until next year. I feel as though she didn't really visit this year at all. She just dipped her slender bronzed toes into our climate every now and then, teased us with some fleeting rays of warmth and then ran away. Wasn't it dreary? Some of you out there in Blogland have had quite respectable Summers in other parts of the UK, but on the whole, my Summer has been wet and cold...

It's not that I don't like Autumn, far from it. I love the colours of golden leaves and the scrunch scrunch of fallen cobnuts under my feet. Wandering in the garden, gathering the orchard fruits in huge basketfuls, and this year, for the first time since I was at school, making jam from my own damsons. 

Yes, Autumn is a glorious season as nature prepares to snuggle up and build reserves for the coming Winter. But I don't just see Autumn as the end of Summer or the end of green trees and butterfly filled meadows. I see it is as the beginning of a new year in many ways.

Youngest daughter has gone back to school for her final year, full of expectation for the future and I am reluctantly counting the days until Eldest Daughter leaves for London and her new life at University. How I wish I could take the past nineteen years and bottle them, preserve them like my damsons. I would  keep the rosy scent of innocence and beauty as I snuggled my nose into my daughters's soft tresses to say 'goodnight' and mix it with the tears of joy and pride which rolled down my cheeks with every accomplished milestone and achievement over the years.  And when I was feeling down or lonely, I would open the bottle and breathe deeply, and I would be back in those days again...

Yes, that would be my ultimate dream. However, perhaps the future will have a sweeter scent. I'll hold my breath and see...

'It is small advantage for eyes to see

If the heart is blind.

The great world brims over with his glory,

yet he may only dwell

where a person chooses to give him entrance.'

 

Burnt Norton

1

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind.
                                   But to what purpose
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose-leaves
I do not know.
                                   Other echoes
Inhabit the garden. Shall we follow?
Quick, said the bird, find them, find them,
Round the corner. Through the first gate,
Into our first world, shall we follow
The deception of the thrush? Into our first world.
There they were, dignified, invisible,
Moving without pressure, over the dead leaves,
In the autumn heat, through the vibrant air,
And the bird called, in response to
The unheard music hidden in the shrubbery,
And the unseen eyebeam crossed, for the roses
Had the look of flowers that are looked at.
There they were as our guests, accepted and accepting.
So we moved, and they, in a formal pattern,
Along the empty alley, into the box circle,
To look down into the drained pool.
Dry the pool, dry concrete, brown edged,
And the pool was filled with water out of sunlight,
And the lotos rose, quietly, quietly,
The surface glittered out of heart of light,
And they were behind us, reflected in the pool.
Then a cloud passed, and the pool was empty.
Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,
Hidden excitedly, containing laughter.
Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.

Excerpt from The Four Quartets, T S Eliot